There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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