Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
