ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
