they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
