my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize