you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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