It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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