grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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