He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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