glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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