Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
