apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize