No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
