dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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