That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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