My cat gives me a boner
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
