shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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