I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I checked into jail on foursquare
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
