i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
