You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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