you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
