Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Can Purell be used as lube?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
