my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
