dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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