Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
