Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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