I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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