Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  i don't like sucking hair

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  (760): i don't like sucking hair http://tfl.nu/yq6x
  Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (1452)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7594) Bad night (991)
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  (925): View more from California

  never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.

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  (925): never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont. http://tfl.nu/mow4
  Replies (52) Good night (623) Bad night (4093)
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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6813) Bad night (734)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.

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  (210): I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper. http://tfl.nu/rcv4
  Replies (76) Good night (4796) Bad night (1988)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

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  (403): Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it. http://tfl.nu/0g8l
  Replies (45) Good night (1023) Bad night (9683)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke

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  (740): we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke http://tfl.nu/7na0
  Replies (6) Good night (2664) Bad night (1284)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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  (214): Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it. http://tfl.nu/1ffs
  Replies (11) Good night (2686) Bad night (737)
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  (212): View more from New York

  The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

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  (212): The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane http://tfl.nu/6wh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2047) Bad night (921)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.

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  (404): You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high. http://tfl.nu/huz5
  Replies (6) Good night (1320) Bad night (950)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep

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  (412): It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep http://tfl.nu/wopt
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (634)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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  (902): I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged. http://tfl.nu/u3dy
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (450)
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  (235): View more from

  Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.

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  (235): Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants. http://tfl.nu/kei7
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (280)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?

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  (860): Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting? http://tfl.nu/r5ub
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"

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  (445): she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too" http://tfl.nu/r5oy
  Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (571)

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