i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i came on her dog
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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