There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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