Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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