I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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