Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
FUCK WHALES
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
