I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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