I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
