I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
