You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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