i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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