Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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