Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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