Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You're like the curious george of whores
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
