Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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