So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
