butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
