so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
