the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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