In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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