I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
