Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize