brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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