yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
