Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
