I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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