Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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