First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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