dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
