remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
