I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
