I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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