I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
