I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
