My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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