I wish you could order shots online.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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