The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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