6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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