its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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