If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
